For the latest episode of the Happy Place with Fearne Cotton, the presenter sat down with former Lionesses’ goalkeeper Mary Earps.
MARY EARPS ON THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF HER RETIREMENT AND HER FEELINGS ABOUT WATCHING THE EUROS THIS YEAR “I don’t want it to be painful watching them, but I won’t know until it’s there because I think I felt almost a bit of relief because it had been so long coming.”
Fearne: You just said that you very recently announced your international retirement. How are you feeling about everything?
Mary: I feel good. I think, obviously, in total transparency, at the time, it’s a very hard decision to make and I think it had been in the works for a while, but obviously, maybe other people weren’t experiencing it the way I was experiencing it. I think that as well, I’m quite private, I keep everything in and I try and internalise it and rationalise it. I felt like it was the right decision, I still think that now. I think maybe, it was shocking to some people but I think when you’ve been having those conversations behind closed doors. I was obviously able to tell the girls in person. They were so supportive and say goodbye. These are girls that I grew up with and have spent so much time with, so many amazing memories with. So yeah, it was sad, but I think it’s the right thing and I’m really looking forward to supporting them this summer.
Fearne: Yeah. I mean, will it be slightly painful watching the Euros? It’s a hard thing, even though you’ve got that autonomy, you’ve made that decision. It’s bittersweet to then sit at home and watch it.
Mary: I don’t know. I don’t know how I’m going to feel because I’m hoping to get out there.
Fearne: Okay.
Mary: I’m hoping to get out there and watch a few games depending on pre-season and where I’m going to be. But I think the girls are, first of all, a phenomenal team. I think they’re going to do really, really well so I’m really looking forward to seeing that. I don’t know, I feel really okay now, but I think it depends because the time of the announcement, I think it was difficult and it was painful, but mainly because of part of the reaction and some people were amazingly, and the girls, the way that they had my back and that meant the absolute world to me. They really didn’t need to do that, but it just meant the world. I think that I was villainized in a way, that probably was a bit hard to see things and read things, but it’s more hard, you’ll get it, it’s more what my friends and family see and then the way they interact with me. I’m like, “oh, I know you’ve seen something” and then I’m upset for them because I’m like, “You didn’t choose this. You’ve got to now deal with this.” I’m then gutted for them and then I’m like, “Not really wanting to know what’s being said, but then it’s coming out in comments.” I feel like that’s hard. But in the end, I feel like it was the right decision. I don’t want it to be painful watching them, but I won’t know until it’s there because I think I felt almost a bit of relief because it had been so long coming.
Fearne: Of course.
Mary: And it got to probably mentally, physically. I was just like, right, I’ve given everything here.
MARY EARPS ON NEVER WATCHING BACK THE FINAL OF THE EUROS 2022 BACK “I’ve watched highlights, I’ve watched bits but it’s mad actually that you’ve just said that, I never even thought of it that way.”
Fearne: Did you watch the game back on TV after? Do you sit there and watch it and go ‘bloody hell’?
Mary: No, I haven’t actually ever watched the Final back, I don’t think. I’ve watched parts of it back for sure. I’ve watched highlights, I’ve watched bits but it’s mad actually that you’ve just said that, I never even thought of it that way.
But obviously all of the games, when you’re playing them, you watch back, well, I always watch all my games back, I watch all my clips back, I then tend to go through it with the goalkeeper coach. ‘Okay, what did I to do, win, lose, draw. What went well? What can I improve on?’ I’ve got a question about this and obviously that’s part of your development as a player. Obviously after we won that game, I just burst into tears sobbing my little heart out but then you have a party and we’re in the square living it up. We had a lovely family and friends team event. Then we had a team event just as girls and a few staff, amazing, and then you go off on holiday and you’re like, Oh my God, but I’ve never watched that. I’ve never watched that. I probably should watch it back.
Fearne: It’s the most joyful thing you’ll ever see.
Mary: I’ve definitely watched parts of the game back, especially the latter bit of extra time, that whole scenario.
Fearne: Terrifying.
Mary: Goose bumps. At the time, I actually did the maths wrong of how many minutes we had left in my head because I just couldn’t concentrate anymore. It was so hot as well.
Fearne: So intense.
Mary: So hot in Wembley that day and obviously Chloe got the winner. What a day. Tops were off.
Fearne: Oh, I just love it. If I were you, I would have watched back a highlights reel of all the best saves I’ve done on repeat.
MARY EARPS ON THE REALITIES OF WOMEN’S SPORT AND GOING BACK INTO THE NATIONAL TEAM “It’s not millions of pounds per week, per year, where you’re set for life”
Mary: When I wasn’t in the national team, I had to figure out and it links back to what you’re saying earlier about women’s football. It’s different from men’s football, it’s different from the men’s world.
I was in a position where I felt my football career as a whole was coming to an end and I was like, “Right, what am I going to do? I’ve got a business degree but do I just dive straight into a corporate job? Where am I going from this?” It was just a crazy time of, “Right, I need to speak to people, what am I going to do?”
Spoke to who’s now my agent and I wanted to be a pundit back then, a commentator back then […] then I was being fed back that I don’t have a big enough profile to do commentary at the level I wanted on TV. Getting any opportunity was impossible. You need to work, go away and so I started working with someone who told me to start doing TikTok. I was mortified. I was like, I’m not a dancer. Little did I know. My hips don’t lie!
So that happened and so I was working on different projects like that, doing a little bit of TikTok, trying to inspire young people to get into football, young girls to get into football via TikTok. That was all what it was about. My agent was like, “all these people that you want to inspire, they’re on TikTok and you’re not on TikTok, so it makes no sense”.
Anyway, so that happened and I ended up building quite a big profile on there, unexpectedly. But I enjoyed doing it because nobody was bothered. No one asked about what I was doing. I was out of the fold. I wasn’t playing for the national team. I was just minding my own business, playing for United, focused on that. Then like, okay, clearly I’m going into something else.
Happy Place with Fearne Cotton is available to listen to wherever you get your podcasts.